Frugal Dating Guide

Couple 01
Recently, I was chatting with a friend about the virtues of frugality and “living rich cheaply.” He responded, “it’s a lot easier for you to be frugal. You’re married. It’s expensive when you’re dating!” My friend has a point. I do remember those days as a single guy and it’s true that it isn’t easy being frugal when you’re dating…especially when you live in NYC. But, I think it’s still possible to do it frugally. Of course, I’m probably the last person you want to take dating advice from, so take it for what it’s worth. Or scroll down to the comments for input from people much more qualified in this area than I am!

According to Zoosk, a dating website, NYC is the most expensive city in the U.S when it comes to dating (costing $173.88), and Indianapolis is the cheapest city (costing $82.62). The cost of the date includes two movie tickets, two drinks, two cappuccinos, and dinner for two. According to Deutsche Bank’s “cheap date index,” a “cheap date” in NYC would cost $93, which includes McDonalds burgers, soft drinks, a movie, a few beers and a cab ride My friend likes to take his date to fancy restaurants to impress his date. I highly doubt that he’s taking them to McDonalds. I think many guys have this mindset. They feel the need to maintain an image and to show that they have money. However, I’ve come to realize that when you’re first getting to know someone, it makes little sense to spend a lot of money to “impress” her. You don’t know how the date will go and whether either of you guys have any chemistry. You’re better off going to a more casual, yet hip, place to get to know the person first. Furthermore, I think picking a fancy place can send the wrong message: that you’re trying too hard to impress her or buy her time. Here in NYC, even non-fancy restaurants can be pretty pricey. The type of person who is turned off by your selection of a less fancy restaurant might not be the right person for you anyway.

I think Thai restaurants are pretty affordable yet don’t give off the vibe of a cheap place. Alternatively, you might opt to meet up at a coffee shop instead. This way if you guys don’t hit it off, you won’t be stuck spending a whole meal together. In the “cheap date index,” it mentions movies as the go to activity for dates. However, I generally find movies make bad dates, especially when you’re first getting to know someone. You don’t get a chance to talk and to get to know that person when you’re sitting in a movie theater. Plus, movie tickets are expensive (about $15 per ticket and about $19 for 3-D movies, here in NYC).

Here are a few activities which are more fun and cost less than two movie tickets:
-Have a picnic
-go to a museum
-volunteer together
-go hiking
-go for a walk/run/bike ride
-go to the beach
-show off your cooking skills and make dinner for her

More specifically, in NYC,
-take a free ferry ride to Governor’s Island and go biking

Governor's Island

Governor’s Island


-Grab an oar and row a boat in Central Park or go kayaking on the Hudson River (it’s free!) There are the city parks which offer pedal boat, bike, paddle boat, and kayak rentals.
-Go for a walk on the Highline
-Be a kid again and ride the ferris wheel in Coney Island and then take a walk on the Boardwalk.
-In the winter time, grab your skates and go ice skating at Bryant Park
-I know I said no movies…but grab a picnic blanket and watch a movie on the lawn at Bryant Park

I understand that I’ve made the assumption that the guy is paying for the date. Maybe I’m kind of old school, but I still think that the guy should probably pay in the beginning. I also know that it’s possible to use coupons/groupons to save money, but I wouldn’t want to do that in the beginning either. Even if your date is a frugal gal, I think you should save your coupons until a little later on into the relationship. The most fun, enjoyable, memorable dates that I had with my wife didn’t cost a lot. I’m not saying that you should never spurge, just that it’s possible to have a good time without going broke.

What other tips do you have for those who are frugal and in the dating world? What other activities are fun but frugal?

37 thoughts on “Frugal Dating Guide

    1. livingrichcheaply@gmail.com Post author

      Yea, I do think the creativity will be appreciated. Dinner and movie doesn’t take much though.

  1. DC @ Young Adult Money

    I think balance is important. You don’t ALWAYS have to schedule dates for fancy restaurants or overpriced bars. Mixing in some of those frugal date ideas you shared can definitely lower the cost of dating. I have to agree with your friend, though, it’s definitely easier when you are married – assuming you are on the same page as your spouse when it comes to finances.
    DC @ Young Adult Money recently posted…6 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Making a PurchaseMy Profile

    1. livingrichcheaply@gmail.com Post author

      Haha, yea I’ll have to admit it’s easier being married, and married to someone who is also frugal. You’re right about balance though. I don’t think you necessarily have to abstain from anything that costs money, but just make it a special occasion. Although fancy restaurants and overpriced bars are just something my wife and I wouldn’t enjoy much anyway.

  2. Fervent Finance

    When my girlfriend visits me in NYC we do things like go for walks, go to the park, cook at my apartment, and go to museums. But then we pepper in there maybe one dinner out per trip. You don’t have to eat out every meal, and that mentality definitely makes my wallet happy.
    Fervent Finance recently posted…The Cost of an EducationMy Profile

    1. livingrichcheaply@gmail.com Post author

      Sounds good. Although it might be tougher since your girlfriend is from out of town…you might feel like you have to take advantage of the city more right?

    1. livingrichcheaply@gmail.com Post author

      Yea, it’s best to find the right person for you…otherwise it’ll probably lead to conflict in the future.

  3. Hannah

    When we were first getting to know each other, my husband and I weren’t dating at all- we were just enjoying one another in social settings (frisbee teams, parties at friends places, pick up games, etc). Once we were fairly “in like” he called me to ask me on a date. Our first date was expensive (snowboarding), but after that we kept things low cost. Bike rides, and pick up sports with lunch after at his place were popular. We rarely “went out”, and even today we almost never go out to eat unless we are celebrating something.

    I think if you’re struggling to come up with a list of 50 activities that cost less than $10, you might need some new hobbies.

    1. livingrichcheaply@gmail.com Post author

      Yea, it’s probably even tougher to go out to eat nowadays with a little one…well in my experience at least. I think “active” activities like the ones you mentioned are great…biking, sports, etc.

  4. Tonya@Budget and the Beach

    I agree if you’re a guy (with any class) it can be way more expensive for a guy than a girl, although we have soft costs like makeup, manicure/pedicure, etc that add up. I would be turned off is a guy used groupon (and it was obvious) for a date, but later on would be totally fine. I also think a simple coffee date for date one is perfectly acceptable, as it works both ways as far as how the date is going. I don’t want to be stuck at a long dinner with someone I didn’t like as much as he would either.
    Tonya@Budget and the Beach recently posted…My Life as a FreelancerMy Profile

    1. livingrichcheaply@gmail.com Post author

      I didn’t think of that, but you’re right…women do have many of those “soft costs.”

  5. Laurie @thefrugalfarmer

    I love the idea of a picnic. I think it’s sweet that a guy would take the time to put together a picnic lunch – it’s a lot of work. And I’d probably be more impressed with that than a date at a fancy restaurant. Great ideas here, Andrew!
    Laurie @thefrugalfarmer recently posted…Liebster NominationMy Profile

    1. livingrichcheaply@gmail.com Post author

      I know right? It impresses the lady more as well as being easier on the wallet.

    1. livingrichcheaply@gmail.com Post author

      Sounds like fun…I should make plans to do that with my family too…now that the weather is nice.

  6. Abigail @ipickuppennies

    Well, if you’re looking for someone who is thoughtful about finances, a good way to weed those out is to propose a lower key date. If someone scoffs at you because you don’t want to spend $50+ on a dinner, might not be someone you want anyway.

    A good frugal partner will be happy with a low-key hangout. I love the idea of a Thai restaurant. That tends to be affordable, the restaurants are often unique, and it gives you a chance to chat. I never really understood dates that involve movies.

    And yeah, wandering a museum or park is also great. Something that lets you guys get to know each other — what makes you bond more than buying street pretzels or hot dogs? — without spending a ton of money.

    Once, I took a date to a weird store in Seattle called Archie McPhee’s. It’s a novelty shop with a slew of strange products. So the date consisted of us poking around and showing each other the random items.

    We had fun, and neither of us had to spend a cent. Well, he had to pay for bus fare to meet me there. Still…
    Abigail @ipickuppennies recently posted…It’s officialMy Profile

    1. livingrichcheaply@gmail.com Post author

      That sounds like a fun and cheap date (checking out the novelty store). My wife and did similar things when we were first dating…just walking around interesting parts of NYC and checking out unique stores there.

    1. livingrichcheaply@gmail.com Post author

      Thanks! I couldn’t agree more…the ideas you suggested sound much more interesting as well as lighter on your wallet.

  7. CashFlowDiaries

    A cool thing about where I live (Austin) is that there seems to always be free music shows and festivals. If you sign up for the local city event websites they normally have schedules with all kinds of free stuff. It’s really cool.
    CashFlowDiaries recently posted…The Sunshine Blogger AwardMy Profile

    1. livingrichcheaply@gmail.com Post author

      I’ve heard that Austin has great music shows and festivals. Often times people don’t take advantage of all the cool and free things that the city offers.

    1. livingrichcheaply@gmail.com Post author

      Haha, sounds like fun! And at least Indy was rated the cheapest city for dates.

  8. Mr. Utopia @ Personal Finance Utopia

    I never worried about being frugal or coming across as cheap back in my dating days. Granted, I wasn’t a prolific dater, but, my mindset was always that if I had to spend a bunch of money to impress the girl then she probably wasn’t the right one for me!

    I think your alternative suggestions are great. You can get to know the other person just as easily and that’s what really matters. By the way, I’d be tempted to argue with your friend that it is actually more difficult to be frugal once you are married and start having kids!
    Mr. Utopia @ Personal Finance Utopia recently posted…Advantages of Buying a New Construction HomeMy Profile

    1. livingrichcheaply@gmail.com Post author

      Yea, kids definitely do add more costs but I think you can still be frugal. We definitely don’t go out to eat much or at all nowadays! Plus my little one is not at the age where he asks for or wants specific toys…

    1. livingrichcheaply@gmail.com Post author

      And of course we’re looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right so it makes sense!

  9. Shannon @ Financially Blonde

    My hubby and I used to have ridiculously expensive dates and now we love having date night in bed which sounds sexier than it is. All we do is get a cheap bottle of wine, make popcorn and watch a movie from Netflix or Amazon Prime. It’s so much better than going to the movies and it’s perfect for me since I usually fall asleep during movies anyway.
    Shannon @ Financially Blonde recently posted…Music Mondays – These DreamsMy Profile

    1. livingrichcheaply@gmail.com Post author

      Yea, I’d prefer to watch a movie in the comforts of my own home rather than at a movie theater!

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